Puppy Dog Love

 Who's in charge?

After thirteen years of loving Lucy, we still laugh at how well she has us trained in the art of fetching the ball when she wants us to play, in fixing her food first thing in the morning before we've enjoyed a silent time of reverie, or when she demands a walk, no matter how cold or windy.

Patience.
We call our behavior 'puppy dog love' because when we first brought her home, she was the most pitiful lost terrified animal we had ever been around. She would not leave our bedroom until we carried her outside. She would not tinkle/poop unless we stayed in the yard with her. She didn’t bark or whimper. After she climbing a tree chasing an animal, she still didn't know she was a dog. In her attempt to protect me from a squirrel, she managed to chase the squirrel up my leg and then barked at me. For the full story read here: Walking Pell-Mell

Who trained whom?
We regularly watched The Dog Whisperer, Cesar, on television. I read The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller, and I took Lucy to Dog Obedience school.  After six months of patiently loving and training Lucy she discovered a new life as a loved house dog and companion.

The Lucy alarm!
The first time she barked in the back yard, the neighbor and I both ran to her to see what happened. Like a child who just took a first step she barked again for her newly formed audience. Ever since that first bark, she has continued to greet strangers and guests with a ferocious barking howl, until the guests give her time to sniff and pronounce them worthy of coming into her home..

 Good cows. Good cows.
When we lived on Quivira Drive in Hutchinson, across the road from 40 acres of prairie, we often played hide and go seek in the tall grasses with Lucy. She relished the excitement of finding one of her lost cows. We still play in our yard hiding behind trees, or in our house Jack will turn to Lucy, who sleeps at his feet by the television and call, "Where's Letty?"  Instantly, she searches the rooms until she finds me, then herds us both together. Sadly,  she is aging faster than we are, with her hips quivering and back legs slipping Jack sometimes drives her to the park where she sniffs and saunters in slow-mo, as we stand shivering in the cold mumbling words to ourselves while waiting on our loved dog.

Togetherness.
Jack and I spend time talking about our goosey dog and how much she has become a part of our daily routine. Through her training of us, her cows one or both of us walk with her daily; she begs routinely from Jack at the dinner table; even though she is deaf, she still hears cabinets closing when Jack is in the kitchen and like magic arrives at his side waiting on a crumb to fall to the ground.  At the dinner hour she herds us into the kitchen to fix her dinner and sit together as a family. She much prefers to keep her cows in one room together with her.

Puppy Dog Love.  

Off and on these last two years she has gone through weeks of severe gastrointestinal issues that ruin carpet and make me nauseous. We love on her and feed her a special fat free Gastrointestinal canned dog food. The Vet prescribed medicine for her nervous stomach and pain pills for her aching hips.   In my childhood our father would have taken her to the country one day and put her out of misery. Now, Lucy looks at us with those brown eyes and says, "I am sorry. I am sorry. Please don't be mad." Jack and I work as a team to clean up and then our hearts weep inside.

Hugs and tears.

Just before Valentine's, as she lay on the cold tile exhausted from being sick for three days, we said our good-byes to her, knowing that she probably would die during the night. When she didn't wake us early the next morning, I lay in bed and quietly cried. Then suddenly I felt a bump against the bed, and felt her paw reaching for me. Like a startled bird I leaped out of bed and found Lucy standing there with her tail wagging ever so slightly.

Belly rub and massage on a sunny winter day. 

I Love Lucy.  

Valentine's came this year with surprises and gifts from Letty to Jack and Jack to Letty. Lucy doesn't like to be left out. When Jack bought a dozen radiant red roses and a box of hot tamales, my favorite candy, Lucy signed the card with him. One year she even a bought a special Valentine card just for me. She knows that we are a team and she is proud of her cows.  

Nova hosts a show called Dog Tales that explains the science behind why dogs like being with people Click on this link to learn more Nova's Dog Tales.  

Through her Eyes

Furniture shopping last summer.

I often wonder if I could smile with such sincerity if I were in constant pain from the shingles, but she does.  For over 91 years her smile has remained strong, much like her family of four sons and one daughter, all blessed with her love and patience.  Her joy for life, for everyday living, for being with family is slowly being drained from her body.  Age is the demon chasing her every night.

Now her legs have said, way too many times, "This pain is just too much.  Sit down and please don't move."  The walker is companion but not the companion who makes her feel needed.  It's only a metal frame that helps her to walk from her "perch" on the couch, to the kitchen, to her bedroom, and back.  Her companion for the last few years died in September.  He was younger than she and was suppose to outlive her.  She misses him everyday. I can't imagine her grief nor her pain. 

Alleen  loves to eat at Red Lobster

Those birthdays have taken their toll, and all we hurt as we watch her age. Her daily routine of coffee and donuts with friends at  Donut King and Braum's have come to an end.  She doesn't enjoy getting out and the cold hurts her bones.  She thrives on the breakfast platter now that Jack brings daily, and for an hour or two each morning she shares her life with Jack, her son, or any of us who are family.  She loves to talk and share her memories.  We are all happy that she does; then she chokes or her breathing becomes labored and she's frightened and our hearts race.  We have caretakers who help her daily with household chores and meals, but they have struggled with her independent nature.  We've spoiled her, rightfully so, and she most pleased with restaurant foods, not home cooked.  

Now other aliments follow her.  A woman who merely takes Anacin for relief and a pill for her racing heart, now suffers from dizzy spells, that scare her so much  that she doesn't like to walk.  And so she sits, her muscles atrophy more and more everyday, but fear of falling has taken hold of her thoughts.

Most of the time she's articulate, reads the newspaper word for word cover to cover, watches football, Lawrence Welk, Andy Griffith, Everybody Loves Raymond, the Golden Girls, and good old movies, but she's lonely.  Her fingers aren't strong enough to sew and make the quilts or doll clothes they once made.  Her guitar sits more now than ever before, with her fingers no longer callused and strong enough to press the chords.  Her will is stronger than

Alleen and great grandson, Isaac

muscles, and so she makes herself get up and sing for others.  It keeps her going and makes her happy.  But pain is now her constant companion.

How does a family make a decision for an aging parent?  We try to see through her eyes.  We try to do what's best for her, but her mind thinks she's young, strong, independent and can live alone. Her dream is to die at home in her bed.  Do we honor her dream?  We toss and turn and question what's best, what helps, where do we go from here? 

I listen as God guides me. I open my heart and pray, and so do we all.  We pray that her life stays "golden", but in the end we pray for "God's will be done."