|Furniture shopping last summer.|
Now her legs have said, way too many times, "This pain is just too much. Sit down and please don't move." The walker is companion but not the companion who makes her feel needed. It's only a metal frame that helps her to walk from her "perch" on the couch, to the kitchen, to her bedroom, and back. Her companion for the last few years died in September. He was younger than she and was suppose to outlive her. She misses him everyday. I can't imagine her grief nor her pain.
|Alleen loves to eat at Red Lobster|
Now other aliments follow her. A woman who merely takes Anacin for relief and a pill for her racing heart, now suffers from dizzy spells, that scare her so much that she doesn't like to walk. And so she sits, her muscles atrophy more and more everyday, but fear of falling has taken hold of her thoughts.
Most of the time she's articulate, reads the newspaper word for word cover to cover, watches football, Lawrence Welk, Andy Griffith, Everybody Loves Raymond, the Golden Girls, and good old movies, but she's lonely. Her fingers aren't strong enough to sew and make the quilts or doll clothes they once made. Her guitar sits more now than ever before, with her fingers no longer callused and strong enough to press the chords. Her will is stronger than
|Alleen and great grandson, Isaac|
How does a family make a decision for an aging parent? We try to see through her eyes. We try to do what's best for her, but her mind thinks she's young, strong, independent and can live alone. Her dream is to die at home in her bed. Do we honor her dream? We toss and turn and question what's best, what helps, where do we go from here?
I listen as God guides me. I open my heart and pray, and so do we all. We pray that her life stays "golden", but in the end we pray for "God's will be done."