IN--BETWEEN

Covered in neutral tones of grey walls with shiny dental pics glaring at me from the side of the angular arm, the dentist chair smelled new. Our dentist looked younger than I expected, fresh in bold pink scrubs, hazel brown eyes filled with excitement of her first year as Doctor Z. 

I remained as relaxed as I could be, eyes searching for the old posters on the walls and ceiling of alligators grinning, cartoon characters wagging floss and toothbrushes. My grown children will miss those posters, too.

No signs of older times appeared except in my imagination. I could hear Doc Jackson from the back of my head asking me all about my golf game while all the time in dental assistant, often times his wife, Norma Lou, began organizing the tools on clear tray, steaming hot from the sanitizing waters. The glass windows in the building on North Main and 2nd N.E. were glazed over. No pictures, no colors, but lively one-sided conversation with Doc. At thirteen I would see the dentist many more summers. 

Then I felt the hands on my left cheek, the numbing agent complete followed by the needle that appeared longer than a sewing needle; some things don't change. 

Relax and breathe deeply, go to your happy place....She suggested. I wanted to scream but was afraid to choke.

A few slow deep breathes later, I found myself standing next to the two horses in a pasture not far from home. They come to the barbed fence when I don't have the dog with me, allowing me to rub their noses even without food in my hands to tempt them. The stallion is always the first while the palomino hangs back. This time she gently nudged her head toward me but a sharp pain from the barbed wire shook me. 

The dentist grimaced. I'm sorry she said, "I need to numb your jaw a little more." 

When my eyes closed again and I could breathe easily the fence didn't exist. The palomino knelt and I climbed on her bare back. I could only see prairie and hills ahead, no busy intersections or sirens blaring. She trotted to the lower forty acres out toward the creek that was filled with cool spring water. She dipped her head to drink, slapped the flies with her tail. I giggled until a drool slide down my face and neck. It felt cold against my hot skin. My tongue filled my mouth and made no effort to help me.

"Are you ok?" the dentist asked.

I wanted to tell her to let me run with the horse again across the prairie lands of green and yellow, and leave this chair behind, but I couldn't.

Do you need a break? This will be long procedure and I don't want you feel it. 

My headed nodded up and down and sideways, I had no control. 

The noise, the stinging stopped. My mouth felt the cool water sprayed around. I wanted to smile but couldn't. The trickle of water ran down my throat taking me back to the horse, and she slowly pulled up her head and trotted down the side of the creek bed and off through the blooming yellow wildflowers in motion from the breeze of the butterflies feeding. 

My eyes opened and suddenly I coughed. My mouth my cleared and I could feel the water once again trickling down my throat. Would this never end?

Hang in there, we are almost finished. Then we will prep you for the crown. You've been very calm the last hour....

Part of me laughed and I was reminded of a statue I'd seen in Tulsa of a young girl carrying a basket through a spring garden. She seemed so alive to me, but bronze never moves unless in a dream. Her body stretched skyward like a ballerina. Smiling I could hear her sing and her feet lightly touching the ground but not breaking the flowers. A fairy I thought, a very real and child-sized fairy. Cool breezes circled us as I joined her in the flower dance. My body life-sized but light airy with a bronze colored fairy at my side. The Cardinals peeped in the distant trees, telling others of their view. The Bewick wrens on the branches beside us ventured out to sing for us. 

One bird touched my cheek and I awoke, my mouth empty, dry, then wet, then gurgled clean. I followed their directions awake and methodical. The dental assistant placed a damp cloth on my forehead and assured me all was done and my mouth was healthy. Time to take a breath and sit up slowly. My jaw felt swollen and sore.  

Stepping outside I noticed the birdsong in the tree across the way, a mockingbird.