In Search of Light

My heartstrings have been pulled tugged and stretched to the limits in this last winter of Covid and the agony of War in Ukraine and migrants without homes.

I have enjoyed moments and days of Grace during this time, but then
the fairies flummoxed my days with winter winds one day and spring the next, but always the wind blowing my thoughts away. (A tiny Bewick Wren sings her operetta from one of these limbs.)

Today the sunflowers fell on my head (literally, I had placed large sunflowers for Ukraine in the arc' window over our front door and when I opened the door in search of a sunlight, fresh air, and a story, three large sunflowers feel on me), and I sat down to pray. 

Oh, Lord, the world needs Help. The world needs Love. The world needs Hope. The world needs Peace. Please envelope humanity in your arms and rest our hearts with your love. 

When my mind is in a flutter I turn to walking with nature, silent pray, reading thoughtful messages, and often writing by hand in notebook special thoughts, prayers, and words spoken in years gone by. 

"People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is available only in the present. That is why we should walk in such a way that every step can bring us to the here and now." Thich Nhat Hanh

Yesterday, I wanted spring desperately in my life, so I dug holes and moved plants from the back to the front, all the time thinking I'd done that last year in preparation for this spring. But, where were those flowers? Did nature kill them? With the third dig I hit a ball of roots, still searching for spring I pulled them out and threw them aside, I had green leafy lilies to transplant. A moment later I looked at the ball of roots, and dropped my head in resignation. 

Spiderwort

In my attempt to rush spring and bring color into my life, I had forgotten that the earth is not on my time table, and that in a matter of a few weeks those lovely roots would turn into a mound of purple leaves called Spiderwort. I recalled the words I'd only read that morning, I sacrificed the present for the future.

My mother in heaven must have laughed at me, as I tried my darndest to rush spring. I could hear her words, "Slow down Letty, you're not in a race." 

This morning my body went into race mode, dust the house, run the vacuum, mop, buy plants, make a grocery list, what's for dinner and then the lovely sunflowers fell. Such divine intervention, I chuckled to myself.

Then sitting to slow my breathing I read this passage on Van Gogh by Henri Nouwen:

The Beauty of Lent 

Van Gogh devoted his life to Light. The Light of creation, the Light of painting, the Light of God's grace, and the Light in humanity, mind, body, and soul.

Van Gogh, the son of a Christian pastor, fervently set out to be a preacher and missionary himself, but his ministry eventually took the form of nearly 900 painting shimmering with dynamism, with passion, and above all with Light. 

The words "Lent" refers to the "lengthening" Light, the growing days that, in time, will coax the Sunflowers to open, the wheat fields to rise again, and the irises to bloom. What better companion on this forty day pilgrimage, than Van Gogh, the apostle of Light. 

On this day of all days, "Good Friday", I read this piece of paper that I had printed a few weeks ago. 

A new home for my
Sunflowers.

With my heart lifted and my mind relaxed I found a new home for my Sunflowers, to greet Easter, family and friends. Now I see the clusters of light in our yard that have been growing there before my eyes, and somehow I had missed the light.  

It is, after all, a very Good Friday. 

Van Gogh Immersion OKC if you are looking for a unique experience please locate a Van Gogh Immersion show to visit. His sunflowers dance across the walls before your very eyes. We visited the Dallas show last year and I can still recall the walls as they moved in light and color. 

Other blogs about Good Friday:

A Bounty of Colors Postcards in the Air by Martha Slavin

A Good, Good Friday from Linda Hoye's A Slice of Life