Golf Gypsy: Oh, What a Day!

Salina Country Club decorations.

A mathematician might tell the story this way:

Expenses  6/25/13    $ 90.00
                                  250.00
                                  200.00
                                $540.00
Income   6/25/13          -3.00 
Total cost                $537.00  excluding gas

But the reader might miss the story with simple numbers.

Instead, the day was  filled with moans, ah ha's, four letter expletives, cheers, and lots of laughter.  It began with a benign early morning retreat to the hot tub with the moon shining down and the orioles chirping over the orange marmalade.  By 6:15 in the morning I was driving to Salina to meet my friend, Peggy Anderson, for a golf tournament.  Other than a flare of road rage from a trucker over another trucker the drive was uneventful, and I managed to pick Peggy up at the Subaru dealership, where her car was being serviced, and drive to Salina Country Club.

The tempo began to change at a stop light on Crawford, one mile from the club,  when the policeman behind me on a motorcycle glaringly flashed his lights in my rear view mirror; I could have sworn sirens were blaring, but why me?  A block later I pulled over and learned that driving 50 in a 40 mph zone caused the uproar and a ticket.  What was I to do, but sign on the line and smile.  He said, "I hope you can manage to have a good day, it's going to be a scorcher."    I just thought, I'm on my way to a golf tournament with a friend, it will be a good day.  Besides I knew he had another 40 years of work facing him, and those black uniforms must be hot.  (cost $90)

The formalities of a golf tournament, registration, practicing, following the rules and time schedule flowed smoothly.  My mind began to think of Ben Hogan's phrase, "Always walk slowly to the first tee and set the tempo for yourself."  However, at the first tee I discovered that my Bushnell range finder was missing from my bag.  Even though my body had moved slowly and gracefully, my mind began to race and fret over the lost item. With some deep yoga breathing, I decided I was in control of myself and could either enjoy the day or lose my concentration and my game.  Off and for several holes I dug throughout my bag knowing I would NEVER lose such a needed item.  At last I called Prairie Dunes, when I had a free moment.  No one had turned in a lost range finder, and believe me I checked for messages throughout the day.  I texted my husband, "Please look in the garage. I must have cleaned my bag and left it there."  Several holes later the reply read, "No range finder."  Frustration led to acceptance...this must be an age thing! (replacement cost $250.)

I kept looking for silver linings and found it in a perfect 3 wood shot.  I hit my 3 wood as far as my driver and had been shopping for a new driver even though I knew it would cost nearly $200.   I was willing to try anything to get more yardage.  In that perfect swing, I had a talk with myself.  "How did I do that and why don't I do that with my driver?"  The next hole I hit my driver, like my three wood, meaning I kept my left knee down and flexed, hips level, and rotated through to the target line!  Ah, Ha!  Just like that my driver began to go the distance and my heart and head fluttered with excitement.  (I had just saved myself or Jack $200)  The day was not a disaster.

Next, I hit a target focues 8 iron to a par three with the wind behind me and made a birdie putt.  Since, my friends and I are in the "2 Club" I earned $3.00 with that putt.  Cheers and jubilation!  (Earned $3.00 toward paying off my ticket.)

Daisy dishes for prizes.

Eighteen holes later we returned our clubs to the car, searched again for the missing range finder, checked for replies, asked in the clubhouse, then walked into the dining room proud of our golf game, but dejected over the range finder that I had lost.  The meal at Salina Country Club was delicious, as always, the decorations creative, and then they called our names for 2nd place in our flight, and my name for closest to the pin on the par 3 where I won my $3.00  Cheers again.  (Received two blue daisy designed bowls and a plate for serving appetizers.)  I knew it would be a fun day.

At last, we were ready to leave, but my heart skipped a beat when my fingers did NOT find the car keys in my purse.  I grimly smiled and grumbled at Peggy, "Can't find my keys!"  Hopping back out of the car onto the steamy hot asphalt pavement, I was too tired and too mad to pull out both bags and dig, so instead I walked over to the back right door (SUV's allow this)  and opened it.  From there I could reach into the pockets on my golf bag and dig for the keys.  Suddenly, my fingers touched a solid object.  Frustrated words began form on my lips as I pulled out the missing range finder, that had somehow slipped up and out of touch with my compartments on the golf bag.  "Peggy," I screamed, "I found it.  All the time it's been in my bag!" then I slammed the car door shut.

Peggy calmly asked, "What about the keys, Letty?"  I stopped, laughed, and once again reached into various pockets on the golf bag until I found the keys.  Now we could drive to the Subaru dealership and poor Peggy could drive home without anymore excitement from her friend that day.  (Finding the range finder saved us $250.)  Oh, what a day!

A check for $90 will be in the mail tomorrow to the Municipal Court in Salina, KS.

Golf, it's not that hard.

Letty Stapp Watt
historian, golfer