Younger Longer with Confidence

"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." Sir Edmund Hillary

The day came in my early 60's when I realized that golf would not be a sport I played till I aged because of my crooked spine.  The thought of giving up mornings filled with fresh air on a golf course, birds flying by, clouds rolling over, and the echo of friends laughing broke my spirit. My husband took me by the hand and said, "I think we can both take up fishing and it won't hurt our backs."  The smile of relief is hard to describe without a few tears falling. Just like that I could see a future.

"A naughty pickle is how I best describe myself. 

I think fun and laughter is the whole point of life." 

Celia Imrie

I bought fishing poles at a silent auction, proudly brought them home and promptly put them in the garage next to my golf clubs. The fishing poles are still in the garage, but some inner drive moved me to continue golf. Luckily, I took up yoga and Pilates gaining strength and flexibility over the next two years. When I played in tournaments I played with new zeal,  knowing each round could be my last.

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." Michael Jordan 

During the fall of 2013 I pulled my right hamstring causing pain in my lower back, but thinking I could overcome I continued to push. During January-February of 2014 we packed all of our belongings, hired a moving company and moved from Hutchinson, KS to Norman, OK. I hurt so much I cried when I bent over, walked, slept, or sat down. I still played golf because this ugly voice in my head said that I could play through the pain, after all physical therapy would allow me relief. 

For the next four years I enjoyed intermittent relief from my back pain, and discovered that over the years many of my "butt" muscles no longer responded to my body movement. Atrophy is the word that describes what happens when muscles aren't used. By now my brains screamed, "How could my muscles atrophy when I worked them constantly?" The answer is, "a different set of muscles take over, and that does not mean it's a good thing." Most of all don't play through pain, fix it. Last fall I realized that my golf swing had become that of a little old lady. There was no power at impact. I felt limp and shrunken. New clubs couldn't help that. 

"I am not a has-been. I am a will be." Lauren Bacall

Besides having lost strength, power, endurance, I lost confidence. I lost a bucket load of confidence. When I came to a water hole on the golf course I found myself playing around it, instead of daring to fly a ball over it. Secretly, I cried. Openly, I smiled and said, "At least I'm still playing and this is a good thing." 

Go for it, or layup? OU golf course hole 13.

I accepted that my body and I were getting older together. Like watching our dog, Lucy, turn grey in the face, unable to hear voices, and walk with a left hip that sometimes drags or pinches her, I could feel a slower future coming.   

The difference between impossible and possible lies

 in a person's determination." Tommy Lasorda

The dead of winter is just that for my body. I tend to hibernate and write. January of this year a deep yearning and stirring came through me when I decided to write a monthly blog called YOUNGER LONGER. I believe deeply in myself and my fortitude.  It forced me out of the house and into Therapy in Motion (Cindy Merrick).  After four months of muscle by muscle being released and activated I knew I could play golf successfully again. WRONG! 

The Greatest Video Ever, Gary Woodland and Amy Bockerstette

I promise a smile that will never leave your face after watching this. 

Many bad habits had been created in these last few years and I felt stymied. I know the game inside and out and yet for all of my strength, stamina, and grit I could not improve my game. My scores ranged from 96--88. Thanks to a vigorous workout routine that I still follow five days a week, plus play golf in this heat, I knew that could swing the club with power. In one simple golf lesson with our pro, Alan Hager, I relief flow through my body. Darn those weak lazy hands and arms. Once I began to use strong firm arms at impact the ball went straight and farther, and best of all I felt my old dynamic swing return. Alan also adjusted my driver to a 9.5 face (more upright) giving me a chance to see that tiny white (sometime pink) ball roll down the fairway.

"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.      e e cummings

Feeling the groove return I drove out to OU golf facility to practice, and it paid off with a victory. The confidence to know I can better take care of myself, through continued training and practice will continue, only if i continue to workout. 

Having confidence is showing confidence and acting on confidence. When there is no confidence on the journey life looks bleak.  Letty Stapp Watt

THE IMMEDIATE TWIN

For the last two decades I’ve done my best to exorcise my “evil golf

Like telling my ball where to go. 

twin", and with enough success that for the last few years I have felt focused on writing and living life fully. However, this spring she, my evil golf twin, reemerged with a vengeance and new target, my writing brain.

For instance, I sat down to write about an hour ago. After the first paragraph I paused to consider the verb ‘reemerged’ or the new ‘upcycled.’ As I pondered this perplexing problem I noticed that the bird feeder outside my writing window looked empty. Oh my! I can’t write without my birds for light entertainment, so I took the dog with me to the garage where I gathered two cups of birdseed and filled the feeders for the finches, doves, robins, cardinals, and ubb’s (unidentified brown birds).

 After Lucy secured the yard we walked back in through the garage and into the laundry room. Since the buzzer was nearly ready to go off I decided to hang and fold laundry. Normally, that’s to be expected in my life, however, today I not only hung and folded all of the laundry, I also took the time to put everything away today, NOT tomorrow. This twin demands Immediate Satisfaction at the cost of my creative side.

Yesterday, I told my sister that finally I was free to write all day Monday, but that didn’t happen.  Having been healthy and able to play golf, briskly walk a couple of miles, and work in the yard nearly pain free since April, I know that I must remain physically fit with trips to the gym and workouts at home. Sadly, my brain and muscles work on the same clock—we work best in the morning without distractions. It takes energy to push myself to the gym and the same with writing. Long term goals require a focus and do not handle distractions.

Art Gecko view

This morning I stood between two worlds, my ‘Art Gecko Writing Room’ and the front door that leads to the gym. Without guilt I drove to the gym, and came home refreshed and ready to relax a moment then write. 

I also came home hungry. The plan was flawless. I would eat leftover pizza for lunch and then write all afternoon, but my Immediate Twin rocked me when I discovered that I had a 2:00 dental cleaning. Growling at myself I turned in frustration to see what I could do in an hour.  Ha!

My sister, Jonya, has been cleaning and sorting her home for several days. (She’s a teacher going back to work all too soon and she goes into this frantic cleaning sorting mode every late July.) Now some authors and worldly writers would rarely find themselves in this position. They write, even if they have only one hour. 

My task brain looked around and found a chore for immediate satisfaction, and decided that I could take some summer golf clothes to GOODWILL. I drug bag of clothes to the hallway and let Jack know that the assault on the clothes closet had begun. Suddenly, he stood up from his TV chair and said,” I’ve been putting this off long enough!” Forth minutes later we stuffed the back of my car with five trash bags filled with clothes. Really!

I made it to the dentist and onto Goodwill, then came home prepared to write.  Of course, I only wrote 10 minutes before being distracted. Now my Immediate Twin is grinning over my shoulder at all of the things I did today, and saying,“aren’t I proud?”

This all comes with one more problem. I am no longer forty years old and writing at nights to finish my first book with Dr. Mildred Laughlin. In a flash back I recalled teaching all day, being with family all evening, and writing alone in the kitchen until midnight. Then I turned around and did it again, day after day,  until our first book was finished in less than a year.  Not so, now. Anybody who says that “Seventy is the New Forty” is not seventy.   7 Reasons Why Seventy is the new Forty

 The truth is that no one mentions how tired a seventy year old is at night. I can no longer work productively after dinner, sometimes not even after 4:00.  Tomorrow I will play golf, relax with a book or close my eyes for a while, then go to Tai Chi. I tell my twin that those physical activities must come first.

My plan for Wednesday and Thursday is to be Wonder Woman, cross my arms and create a shield to keep my Immediate Twin away, so I may finish the blog I began in May on empowerment, or not. 

Just the same: This Life is Pretty Darn Good and Funny. 

My twin and I agree that this place is good for the soul.