The Golf Gypsy: My Mother's Words

The Stapp Family at the Country Club about 1966-67
Jonya, Johnie, Helen, Letty

Monday Evening

(June 1967)

Dear Letty,

Just read your note since your phone call and am I glad Mabel is two doors down from you. (Mabel Hotz was my childhood dream golf mother, and one of the first women inducted into the Oklahoma Golf Hall of Fame.)

Back story:

That Monday, June 5,  I qualified for the Women' Oklahoma State Amateur held at Oakwood Country Club in Enid. However, I did not qualify for Championship Flight and my opportunity to win the state championship dissolved,.  My disappointment led to tears of frustration and for me humiliation. 

I had played golf for two years on the men's golf team at NEO. I held a 2 handicap and could play to it on the difficult MGCC course, but my nerves won that day. I was 19 years old. That evening, from the hotel  room in Enid, I called home, collect, sobbing to my mother. 

NOTE: My researching curiosity won out and I searched for the write up on this State Amateur. We played Oakwood CC at 6,529 yards for that championship. I suppose that comes from not having forward tees. I qualified for President's fight and took runner-up after Jarita Askins beat me 2 and 1. 

I would go on to play in the WOGA Championship in 1968 for the last time as a youngster, who felt the weight of winning for her father, her mother, and every member of the country club.

Mother continues:

Letty, the 91 is no disgrace--golf is just a game for some, but it is a way of life for us, and that is why we take it so seriously. Daddy makes his living at it, but you probably won't and neither will Jonya. Just remember that at the end of the day, being a good sport and associating with all those nice people is most important.

You saw Billy Casper (in Tulsa at Southern Hills) smile when he missed a putt and smiled when his opponents made one--you have been looking for an ideal to follow--I think he would be the one I would choose if I were 19 again. He also does not drink and I want you to be a clean pure girl athlete.

Daddy was at the river fishing when you called. In fact he is not back yet.

Just as you told me you "bombed out" and I was thinking you shot a 110-112 or something like that, Jonya sat down by the phone with blood streaming all over the place. She had used an old razor and sliced about two layers of skin from her ankle. I had to put Merthiolate on it and she yelled so loud that on top of your disappointment I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. 

We are calming down watching TV now and I'm getting my nerves put in their proper place now.

Letty, if you are still nervous tomorrow go to a movie. Maybe Louise (Stekoll Johnson) or Rinda (Koppitz) would like to go with you. It is best to get out of this world sometimes. A good book might do the same therapy. 

None of the Miami players did any good at the Hill Blast  tournament in Bartlesville, But just think Ben Hogan bought Daddy's team and we mingled with movie stars and golf stars for two days. 

Are the Bell's there? Tell them all hello--

I got Dad to stay home all day and he is rested. Now if I could get him to a movie.  I'd really be living. 

Well it's time to put Jonya's T.V. dinner on. She has stopped bleeding.   

Remember darling--the golf does not matter.  It is the gladness of your mind that is really life.   Smile win or lose.

Love,

Mama cita

 (Mother loved to use the Spanish language and thus my sister, Jonya, is fluent in Spanish, and spent her life living out some of Mother's dreams.)

Little did we know that my younger sister, Jonya, would go on to the Oklahoma Junior Girls Championship in 1968 Oklahoma Junior Girls Golf Championship

Luckily, like kids and children do, I lived and learned about life through competitive golf. I, also, became better golfer and competitor as it as I grew into adulthood. 

My mother's letter has traveled with me from Enid, to Ft. Hood, to Kansas, Oklahoma, Kansas, and back home to Oklahoma. Her words have never left my heart and to this day I seek a good book or sometimes a movie to escape my worries..

My parents died in 1989 and I miss them everyday, but I must add that Dad has certainly entertained my mind when I am playing golf.  He gave me the nickname of Tizzy, does that tell you something about my scattered brain as teen?  

Reflections on a Steamy Hot Sunday Afternoon

Oak Tree National's signature tree.

 Oh, my! Welcome to the steamy heat of summer, and yet, I find myself drawn to the outdoors. Some days I wake up and can't wait to get out outside to walk early, pull weeds, play golf, or most often play with Murphy. We were up before 7:00am and outside. I was still in my gown and robe with a cup of hot tea in my hand. It felt comfy. I don't often get to feel mornings like that. 

Sitting down in the morning has never been part of my life. I never saw my parents sitting and drinking coffee, relaxing as many may say. My life
from school to teaching and my years of working and with children at home was never still in the morning.  If I didn't have the energy I needed, I drank my ever faithful sugar caffeine ladened Dr. Pepper. 

Sitting didn't last long this morning, it never does. Murphy and I went for our early morning walk and then it was off to a Sunday morning party (not church or Sunday school) to celebrate The Open, or as Americans' say, "The British Open Golf Championship." Our friends gather; to drink anything from water to wine and mixes in between; share golf stories, and dog stories; eat the finest of English foods; and occasionally watch one of the three televisions showing The Open. Yes, we saw Collin Morikawa make that long birdie putt across the green, and go on to win The Open. 

We ate Scotch Egged Meatballs that tasted spicy. The creamed gravy and green peas mellowed the flavors.  The potato egg casserole with fresh tomatoes was smooth and filling. I believe we each tasted food from every tray, like Salmon and pumpernickel, Salmon on potato cakes, sausage bread, scones, sweet Sherried apple Trifle (very British) and we brought Cranachan (Scottish Oats). Thank you Jennifer and Drew Dugan for hosting us for these charming golf parties. 

LeighAnn Fore and Madison Smith on hole #8

My week started last Monday with golf and ended with golf on Sunday, and filled with fun memories in between. On Monday and Tuesday I helped the Women's Oklahoma Golf Association with the scoring for the Women's State Amateur at The Territory Golf Course in Duncan. Helping gave me time to tour the course and watch the young girls and determined women play. Congratulations, Shaebug Scarberry 2021 State Amateur Champion.Steady Scarberry Wins 

Wednesday we found time to spend with our precocious six-year-old granddaughter, Ruth Ann.  We spent time playing dress up, except she is the only one who could get into my mini-skirt outfit from 1973! It even has matching undershorts.  I don't ever remember being that skinny.  

On Thursday four of us met at Oak Tree National in Edmond to play 18 holes of golf. This golf course, opened in 1976, is tree lined tough, no matter which tee box is used. It had been a men's only club until recently, when women were allowed to join. 

Julia Wood and Letty, friends since the 1980's.
Cheers to all of memories of playing golf and living.
Hole #13 at Oak Tree National, Ouch!

According to the website the course has everything – sand, water, trees, length, thick rough and fiercely contoured greens. Dye enhanced the gently rolling property, adding some bumps and hollows of his own along the fairways. The course meanders through oak forests, across streams and around lakes with water coming into play on 13 holes, including each of the par-3 holes.

Thunder, lighting and rains roared through Saturday afternoon and woke me from a sound nap. Today a light rain rolled in on a thunder train. It's warm and sticky out, but we managed to play with Murphy enough that he is worn out.

Maybe, he managed to play with us enough to wear us out. 

Murphy is into creative artwork this week. He is daily looking for ways to create collages on our floors with soft toy stuffing, shredded toilet paper, and magazines and newspapers strewn over and under furniture. All of our books are now on top shelves, no flowers or decorative arts are allowed on tables, all items are stored above his jumping abilities. 

We start our puppy Canine Academy classes this week. I wonder if Murphy will be as good as Pinkerton in Steven Kellogg's classic stories of his Great Dane? Perhaps next week Murphy will have something to say about his new classes on behavior. 

But Katy said she liked toilet paper art. 

Maybe, tomorrow I will start the morning outside relaxing with a cup of hot tea, and watch the grass grow (or throw a frisbee dozens of  times). 

Mind Travels

and the next time you gaze at the sky...dream dreams by Peter Spier

My mind does not travel

  like a driver on the Interstate.

It flows down old-fashion by-ways,

  through curious towns--

talking to strangers

smiling at all and

wondering what comes next. 

       Letty Watt

       

The white ring-neck dove sitting on the bird feeder this morning caught my immediate attention when I sat down to write. My movement caused a flurry of wings and explosion of energy as he flew away. Before I could could write a single word the finches arrived, three males with the rosy red heads and two brown to blanche females who seem more nervous than the male. The male finch showed off his rosy patch on his back while flitting from perch to perch. Thank you nature for this rosy distraction. 

Suddenly, the cold rains stopped the birds from feeding, so it may be a while before I am distracted by the doves, finches, Cardinals, or lively Carolina Wrens that feed and sing for us daily. 

January usually finds me thinking about resolutions and goals. In 2016 I wrote a resolution in this story Goals from the Heart.  I am still working on that resolution.

Eastside School  1894

This year after my 72nd birthday I began to count--all of the places yet to visit, all of the tasks yet unfinished, all of the new things yet to learn, all of my friends and family yet to enjoy time with, all of the projects yet to begin, and all of the books yet to read. Will I make it to 103?

From the simple word HOW I realized that it is goals I need to help me pursue tomorrow and all the days that I have left to enjoy. By definition a goal provides a direction to follow to achieve a desired outcome. Goals involve intention setting, planning, preparing, and taking action. 

Jefferson 1938

These steps are like my plans to stay strong and active, mentally and physically.  Then somewhere in the recesses of my mind I hear my mother sing to me a Frank Sinatra song called Love and Marriage. She used that song frequently when I wanted to do more things in a day than time allowed. "You can't do one things without the other." I was left to interrupt the message.

When Women's Golf made the social page of the newspaper. 1965.

Last fall the Women's Oklahoma Golf Association asked me to take on the task as historian. When I discovered a closet full of old scrapbooks that needed attention my mind began to swirl. 

One task of organizing history led to another. Since 1994 I have carried with me both on paper and in my head and heart the 100 year history of a school where I once taught, Jefferson Elementary in Norman, Oklahoma. With the help of Kathy Taber, Carol Upchurch, and Sallie Kennedy we have a team and a goal to collect the colorful history of Norman's original land site school in 1894. 

Needing help, I turned to the the University of Oklahoma's Western History Collection for guidance. Jacquelyn Reese helped me build a plan for success with both of my tasks.  Now on each notebook in bold print I keep the steps to organizing history: COLLECT, SORT, LABEL, PRESERVE, AND SHARE. It sounds so simple. 

 

Jefferson 1994 (mural by Peggy Smith)

  This month I've designated for the "sorting party" celebrations. We have begun our sorting parties at Jefferson on Thursday afternoons.  On January 28 we will be sorting women's golf history at Tulsa Country Club. Each time I think of sorting my mind always strays to Harry Potter and the 'sorting hat' that originally belonged to Godric Gryffindor, one of the founders of Hogwarts. Since our stories are old like Hogwarts I hope we will find the same magic with our sorting parties. 

Sorting at home. 

NOTE: If you would like to help with the either collection of history, please leave a comment in the section below this story. I will  reply.

Other stories pertaining to Jefferson and Women's Oklahoma Golf Association you may like to read:

Jefferson: Inspiration--A Story a Story  ( a story about stories and puppets)

Jefferson:Golf Gypsy: The Secret to Staying Young (a story about Lois Cowles)

WOGA;Letter to Dad

WOGA;  Herstory: Susan Basolo
. 

Golf Gypsy Hyperventilates

"Next on the tee the foursome of ......  A ten minute call for the following ladies...."

How many times as a teenager did I hear that announcement before a round of golf. Whenever my name rang across the loudspeaker at a golf course for a ten minute call to the tee, I immediately ran to the bathroom with knots in my stomach.  When I didn't pass out, I ventured out to the first tee. However, my breathing came in gulps of air with shoulders pulled upwards toward my ears in tension. Once I hit that first tee shot, the shoulders usually began to relax and my breathing pattern became quiet, instead of yawning, gasping, and sucking for air.

Decades passed and I learned that I hyperventilate when dealing with stress or tension.  I tried every trick I read to stop the labored gasping. Meditation and yoga worked best, but I didn't know how to incorporate them into my everyday life when suddenly I couldn't breathe normally. 

This spring I began to hyperventilate on the golf course. It has been decades since I couldn't breath on the golf course, because golf has become my solace, my retreat from the tensions of everyday life. Again and again this spring I found myself nearly fainting from dizziness. In fear of something serious, I consulted a doctor, and we decided it might be depression, which is nothing new to me.

After one week on my medication, I woke up and said, No this is not my problem. I stopped the pills and began a lengthy internet search, where I found a natural way to treat my difficulty in breathing. It is called the Buteyko Breathing Method.

Since May I have applied every breathing method that Buteyko shares for those of us who struggle with chronic "over breathing" which includes mouth breathing, upper chest breathing, sighing (yawning), and taking large breaths prior to talking. I am not asthmatic, but I have created a very unhealthy response to stress.

The first step is to use the control pause concept to evaluate your relative breathing volume.  This website explains it best and provides videos: Buteyko Breathing Method  

Because these methods are new to me, and my stress and tension has not gone away, I've discovered that I must be conscious of my breathing at all times. The exercise to reverse mouth breathing is one I use nearly every morning, and it clears my nasal passages without medication.

The other lifesaving technique I learned quells panic attacks and anxiety. When I catch myself gasping for air, I take a small breath through my nose; a small breath out; I hold my nose for five seconds in order to hold my breath, and then release it to resume breathing. I breathe normally for ten seconds and repeat the sequence.  Sometimes, after three repetitions I am breathing normally again, other times it takes four to five repetitions.  This works in any location; home, driving, eating, playing golf, walking. 

The science and story behind Buteyko's Breathing Method is amazing yet simple.  By breathing calmly, using more shallow breathing I have better oxygenation to help my tissues and organs, especially my brain. If I over breath then I have too much oxygen in my system and not enough CO2. Lack of CO2 (carbon dioxide) causes the blood vessels to constrict. By over breathing we lose carbon dioxide, and the smooth muscles surrounding the airways and the blood vessels constrict. As the airway constricts, there is a natural reaction to breathe more intensely. However, this causes even greater loss of carbon dioxide, and cooling of the airway causes it to close even more. For me, this created a vicious cycle of gasping for air, dizziness, and a foggy brain that kept me from enjoying healthy thinking and living.

This is perhaps the healthiest lifesaving activity I've ever discovered, and I truly wish I'd known it decades ago.  To read more about how to calm yourself and breath properly please follow up with the above mentioned site or the one shown below. 

The Buteyko Clinic  

Letty Stapp Watt
historian, golfer

Golf Gypsy: the Secret to Staying Young

Lois Cowles' 80th birthday w/ Carol. 

To this day, I can hear Lois's light pitched voice, her giggle, and stories of life. She was the consummate teacher. Lois knew about life, love, lose, and the Secret to Staying Young.

Lois Cowles, who raised three curious energetic and productive daughters from Miami, Ok, also, taught Kindergarten at Jefferson Elementary in Norman, Ok, for two decades.  She lived by the belief, that the

Jefferson puppeteers.

secret to staying young was to surround yourself with young people. Every spring break she would take a trip to Florida to meet friends from Ohio, and come back talking about how old they seemed to her.  I've never forgotten Lois, nor her words.  Any coach or teacher will agree that children and young people are the secret to living and laughing with glee.  

In my attempt to stay young at heart, I recently played in the 100th celebration of WOGA, and on day two I met and lost to a determined "Flat Belly" (our term of endearment for youthful women golfers.) 

The look of youth.

  
Kennedy Hudson, who just completed her first year of college at Northeastern State University and will be playing on the women's golf team, impressed me with her focus and ability to pull herself together after this old

Letty and Kennedy

woman had her down at the turn (in other words I could have won the match, but for focus, youth, determination,  and ability).  She went on to win our flight the next day.  She delighted me with her skills and attitude about golf, so I asked her how she came to be a golfer.  This is her story. 

I started playing golf because my mother forced me into the sport, and our deal was if I went a full year of golf and didn't like it then I could quit.  On the first day of golf practice that January my coach, Ken Morrow, told me to grab my 7 iron, and I was totally confused.  He could see my confusion and told me that it was the club with the upside down L on it. After I took my first swing, I fell in love with the game and realized that I could be someone in this sport.  My first tournament was in March of that year, and I shot a 122.  I was crying by the third hole.  That year I was consistent in the 120's, and by my sophomore year I was consistent in the 90's.  By my Junior and Senior year I was consistently playing in the 80's. My skills were strong enough to be recruited by Northeastern State University where I redshirted my freshman year of college, so I could continue to improve on my course management and shot making. 

What I enjoy most about golf happens when I step on the course and my stress completely melts away.  All I have to do is focus on my swing.  I never realized that golf could teach life lessons, but it has taught me to leave behind whatever is in the past, and focus on what is going on right then and there. If I continue to think about a bad hole or bad shot then I'm not giving my full effort to the shot I'm about it hit.  It has taken me many years to learn that lesson, but I feel like its the most important one.  I love the feeling of competing against myself and the golf course. Sometimes when playing against someone it can bring out the bitterness in me to try a beat another person, that's why it's important to focus on the shot, the course, and the moment. 

Thank heavens for mother's who push their children into life, and for children who keep the adults young at heart.  

Golf Gypsy: And then....

And then, there are truly some bad days on the golf course, even with cool temperatures and a breeze blowing. After all, there are those moments when all a body can do is sigh and say, "Thank you Lord for this day." 

The Pro, Johnie Stapp.

Like my father, I am generally a fairly lucky golfer and a respectable putter, but few weeks ago, my golf game tested my strengths and sense of humor.  It began on a Monday at Lincoln Park West, after having "not" practiced a single shot and still unsure of my body's endurance after nearly six months of rehab.  First of all, my putter didn't have any zip or ping to it when I fluffed the ball.  In fact, the ball didn't even scare the hole after a putt, it just sat there 3-4 feet short of the hole, and so the putting continued to be feeble.  In order to laugh I initialed myself LWB, for Letty Weenie Butt! Nothing worked, 18 holes later and 36 putts I was frustrated.

But then, that's not all.  My tee shot landed in a divot, not once but four different times during the day.  Even the ladies in my threesome noted my bad luck.  Still I chuckled and reminded myself that somedays are like that, even in Australia.  (I'd still like to go to Australia to see if that is true.)  On number 10, a short par 3, my tee shot landed in the water and mud filled bunker.  Hump, I slammed it out leaving my glasses and clothes pock marked with muddy sand. After the shot, my ball wasn't on the putting surface, so I could not clean it before I putted it back onto the green.  It is interesting how a ball rolls when it is caked with mud!  After five shots, the ball gave up and went in the hole.  Imagine my relief.  

A few holes later we came to a large water hole that only required a easy rescue club over the water and onto the green, except the dry land between the green and the water's edge was packed with gaggle of geese, honking and eating the lush green grass or bugs??  As I swung through the shot,

Canada Goose lurking near the water.

I happened to look up early to make sure I didn't hit a goose. I watched and then screamed the ball over the water's edge, And Then ...I hit a goose, right in the wing.  Ouch, I cried, and the poor goose went wobble walking toward the safety of the rough.  The day ended, and I realized I had paid my bad luck dues.  The next day I rallied, and improved my putting by nine strokes.  I smiled, and thought of dad.  He taught me well; that you must take the bad luck with the good.  

Luck returned the next week when I volunteered to help the Women's Oklahoma Junior Girls Golf

Championship at Southern Hills.  I was back in my element of being with children who were passionate about learning the game of golf.  I'm so thankful to have enjoyed sixty plus years of golfing moments and the amazing people I've met along the way.  

"Beans" Factor golfer.

To my friends along the way Salute! and as the shirt says, "Kiss my putt."  


*Letty Stapp Watt
historian and storyteller
 

Golf Gypsy: Getting Serious

Decorated carts for good cheer at Belmar.

Some things in life are worth getting serious about, but a game of golf is just another opportunity to play for a great cause (Susan G. Komen Foundation), to meet new golf gypies, to play scenic golf courses, to test our hand at hitting great golf shots, and to enjoy hours of summer fresh air.  Sometimes keeping score is painful, but honesty and facing adversity is just part of the game.

Two golf gypsies doing the math.

Dawn Stork, a new golf gypsy friend, and I began our week of golf on a Saturday in August at Belmar Golf Club in Norman, OK as many women gathered to raise money for breast cancer research, a serious cause because I have friends who know the importance of this research.  One special friend is traveling this path, and I'm sure with the help of great doctors, research, friends, and family will make a speedy recovery...Manon you are on my mind and in my prayers.

Although our score for the Charity event didn't merit a "Win" we all went home with good cheer thanks to the generosity of Toby Keith and Barry Switzer.

Dawn and I continued our golf journey with three days of golf at Shangri La Golf Course on Grand Lake.  This was our first time to play in the Women's Oklahoma Golf Association's Partnership Tournament.  Imagine being able to spend three days on a golf course where you can take a deep breath between golf shots and look out in the distance and see the waters of Grand Lake.  It was truly a grand setting.  What's more we stayed with friends, Josie Armstrong and Ellen Cantrell,  in a home nearby where we relaxed every morning and evening on a deck with cool lake breezes and some gray cloudy skies in August.


The practice round gave us an opportunity to seriously study the golf course and its contours.  Since putting is one skill I enjoy practicing and executing I found these greens to be filled with undulating challenges, some with three tiers, but all with trouble lurking way too close to the greens for comfort.  Day one we were thrilled to shoot a 78 (using Dawn's best ball or my best ball on each hole.)  I do enjoy having a partner with which to share the anguish and celebrations.  Day two began with a par on a hole that we had previously double bogeyed, so for a moment I thought we could wag the dog's tail.  Then the golf bitch arrived to slap us around and remind us to be humble.  Eight holes of chaotic golf challenged our patience and perseverance, but in the end, and with the thanks from our gallery, we pulled our games back together and finished with another 78.  Our two rounds gave us the honor of winning our First Flight.

There is a time to be serious, a time to laugh, and a time to be thankful for each day in our lives and the people who surround us.  To all of my golf gypsy friends across the country, I am abundantly thankful to have each of you in my life.  Be of good cheer dear friends.

Letty Stapp Watt
historian, golfer