Laughing Out Loud

 I read in The Week, the Best of the U.S. and International Media (July 9--16, 2021) that scientists have concluded that the aging process is, sadly, unstoppable. (I threw the magazine down in laughter. Scientists didn't know that we will grow old and die?)...

Evolutionary biology trumps everything and, so far, medical advances have been unable to beat these biological constraints.  (p.21 from The Guardian) How much of our tax dollars were spent on this discovery? 

Getting older is a problem, and it is the funniest stage of my life so far. Our daughter is turning fifty next month (Mike and Ann are already fifty, ouch) and can't wait to join AARP. I thought she was making fun of me when she said that she enjoyed watching The Kominsky Method on Netflix. "Mom," she retorted, when I accused her of making fun of my age, "I understand your age. My body is getting older, too." I laughed, and later watched another episode of the Kominsky Method. Even if you don't know the characters (two older men in Hollywood going back into the dating scene) this line can make you laugh: 

"Dating advice? Last time you went on a date, Richard Nixon was in office and he was doing well."

Sandy Kominsky in The Kominsky Method, Season 1 Episode 6 - Found at: https://www.thyquotes.com/the-kominsky-method/

The funniest not funny thing about aging is the hearing loss. My husband and I sometimes answer questions that were never asked. "But I thought you said...No you said...No, I said...." at which point neither of us has any idea of what the subject was about.

If we can keep ourselves pulled together we laugh everyday over what we think we heard, but there are those days when it is purely frustrating and embarrassing. 

Last week I was playing golf at Shangri la with younger friends, who can still hear and see the golf ball in flight. After a few beers in the clubhouse we were asked and challenged to go to the cliff side and play "Dot Ball." Asking for an explanation, they said that we'd hit golf balls (some old ones they'd brought from home) to the dot in the water below. Well why not, my dad would have jumped in this crazy idea and my partner couldn't resist the challenge. Off we go in a train of golf carts heading over to the cliff view behind the par three hole #13. All the while, my mind is spinning as to how they get a "Dot" to float in the same place on Grand Lake. 

My embarrassment called for another beer and laughter from deep within my soul. They were talking about a "Dock" that floats below. People shoot to this spot for fun and maybe practice.  It is about a 60 yard shot with a fantastic view. I didn't win my money back but I at least hit the dock, not the dot, twice. 

Next week we both have appointments with an audiologist and Ear, Nose, Throat specialist, just in case it is allergies causing the hearing loss instead of aging.  After all,  scientists have proven that we can't stop the aging process!!!!

Today, I recommitted to my regular workout with a trainer at the gym, but first I walked 4,000 steps in the cool morning breezes with the dog. My body is thrilled when the workout is over, and usually it feels better. I think a balanced workout improves my attitude, my posture, and works out some kinks in my muscles and nerves. The problem comes when my mind believes totally that I can do anything. Of course, I then spent an hour working in the garden, putting in sweat equity in preparation for fall and planning some strategic moves of my plants. 

By afternoon I was too tired to write. I love my naps. 

Oh, I almost forgot. We had a kidnapping in the neighborhood this weekend. It was really quite intense, luckily after several hours the boy woke up. 

PS Give my sister, Jonya and her husband Bill, credit for the kidnapping story. 

Look out Millennials

Look out Millennials—

We’re still here – the Perennials.

You may know us as grandparents or Baby Boomers,

But as you can see we’re no longer booming onto the scene.

I only hope and pray that many of you will live this long.

 

Daisies 

Perennials are not the new 40 or 50 as some might wish.

To be honest we are older if not old.

We aspire to age gracefully and contribute to society,

But as perennials we can bloom again and again until the winter is too bitter.

I only hope and pray that many of you will live this long.

After reading this article in the Washington Post,  In Search of a Word,  I smiled and felt invigorated about my age. My eyes were opened to a new metaphor about growing older, and older. I can proudly say that I am a “perennial.” Each day and each season I can begin again, if I care for my body physically and mentally.

Naked ladies or Surprise Lilies 

In my late forties when one of my seventh grade students said that I must be the same age as the math teacher on our team, Mrs. L., I danced a happy step and laughingly replied, “Absolutely.” On our planning period that day, I laughed all the way down the hallway to Mrs. L’s room.  The thirty year old teacher didn’t think the comparison was funny.

In my fifties my back and feet conspired to keep me on the injured and recovering list summer after summer.  Aleve became my ally, our hot tub eased the pain, and I pushed like a thirty year old to play through the pain. Even in my fifties I didn’t have the wisdom to slow down.

Iris

In my sixties, one of my students carefully touched my hands and said, “Your hands look like the old ladies hands in the care home where my mother works.” I stopped breathing for a moment then replied with an empathetic smile, “You’re right. They look like my mother’s hands, and I rather like that.” Inside I felt the tears and smiled in recognition that I was aging. And that's a good thing. 

I'm Angry

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

I'm Angry.
It's not my nature to be angry, but I sometimes yell at the dog.
I'm Angry at Dementia, and the way it eats through our lives.

Hallowed be thy name.

Her eyes once so full of sparkle are now dulled by Dementia's presence.  Her smile questions who she is, where she is, and why, why, why.

The nightmares seem so real.  The fears send her joy filled songs of life into a vault that time occasionally opens. 

Thy Kingdom Come,

It's never quiet in her mind.  Her early years sustain her.  
She smiles at each and every person who passes through her day.  She listens to their stories, and shares her own.  She makes the world a better place everyday.

Thy Will be Done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.

Why, why, why.  "I'm old. My brother and sisters are all gone. Albert died.  The shingles hurt so badly. Why? Why did I have to live this long? ......Those big men from Pond Creek came into my room last night and drank their liquor. They're mean. They scared me. I couldn't sleep."   

Give us this day our daily bread, 

I kiss her head, rub her hands, and hold her when I can.  We cry.  "They are gone.  They are not there.  Your room is safe. Jack won't let anything happen to you."
              "But Jack's dead." She sways and cries. 
"No, No. Jack is fine.  Jack makes everything safe for you.  He was here this morning.  Take a breath and sing your favorite song, then you will remember that Jack is still alive."  

     So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
     Till my trophies at last I lay down
     I will cling to the old rugged Cross
     And exchange it some day for a Crown.

Slowly a smile emerges, her head lifts upward, and her eyes make contact.


Forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.

I beam with the pride of a child's mother when a friend sits beside her. Stepping away, I listen as they recall a better day.

Sitting on her walker Georgia slapped her knees, "Didn't we have fun when Bob Wills came to town?  I could dance all night long. Didn't we have fun?"

  "Absolutely.  He came to town twice, you know.  One time I played my guitar on stage right beside him.  My papa thought I was the best guitar player he'd ever heard.  My papa was so proud of me."

  "I think Bob Wills thought you were pretty good too, or he wouldn't have asked you to play."  Georgia slapped her knees and taped her feet.  "Look there," she pointed to her feet. "That's all they do now, is tap.  These feet could dance all night long.  I could out twirl any woman in the barn, and now look at me."

The story, like a music box, wound down and quiet overtook the space.

Lead us Not into temptation
But Deliver us from evil,

She is frail. She fell. She broke her hip.  
She told the nurses in the ER that they needed to cancel her music program at the VA that day.  She didn't think she could play.  The nurses fell in love with her. 

For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever. 

She is determined.

Amen.