Dog Salad

I almost said in the beginning of my blogging career that I would NEVER post a recipe, but luckily I didn't say that.  Instead, I said that I probably would never write about a recipe that everyone might enjoy. But, So.....

On a clear bright but cool winter's day I sat down after lunch to write. Being totally focused on writing I forgot to put the beans on for dinner. So I rushed into the kitchen around 3:00 and plopped a bag of pinto beans in the slow cooker along with ham and cooked onions.  I knew we wouldn't have beans for dinner, but I might at least have tomorrow's meal. I do plan ahead, sometimes.

Near six in the evening Jack walked into my art gecko room and asked if I had any plans for dinner tonight. "Yikes, I forgot," I cried. I hit save one more time and raced into the kitchen. 

Pulling out the 'mixings and fixings' for a light tuna salad I thought of something I needed to do that night, so I wrote it down on a nearby pad. Then I continued to set up mayo, ranch dressing, sweet relish, mufaletta olive spread, celery salt, two cans of tuna, lettuce,  and one can of dog food because the dog was standing under my feet between me and the kitchen counter-top. 

Into the bowl I added relish, olive spread, mayo, celery salt, and a dab of ranch dressing. Just then I heard the weather forecast coming on the television so I stepped away from the counter to find out how "cold" it would be tomorrow. Warning: do not react to Oklahoma weather forecast while cooking. 

After muttering a handful of dastardly words I managed to shake off the forecast for frigid ice and winds and returned to the counter with the dog pawing at my leg. With my left hand in the air like the lady at the cross walk who is saying STOP, I said, "Ok, Lucy I'll fix your food!" I promptly opened her can of dog food and dumped into my salad mixings and fixings. 

There was not a sound of humor in my voice when I saw the mixture. I simply froze in place and imagined my future in a 'home' for people who cannot follow directions.

staged this moment a few days later for laughing and sharing

Calmly, I removed the dog food and placed it in the proper dog bowl, set it on the floor and made Lucy happy. Then I walked into Jack's TV room and confessed that dinner would be even later than expected, and that if he wanted to call for pizza he could. I don't remember my tone of voice, but imagine that it was rather loud. 

Laughing already, he walked into the kitchen with me, and I explained how I made the  'dog salad.'  He laughed and then laughed even longer. Growling, I informed him I would laugh tomorrow but not tonight. 

We ordered pizza, I fixed a real tuna salad, stored it in the frig till tomorrow, then drank a beer or two with my pizza and relaxed.  Oh, my! I must practice multi-tasking more often.  



If you are afraid to follow my recipe then you might click on this link for a yummy tuna salad.  

1. Add drained tuna to bowl and gently break up large chunks.
2. Add mayonnaise, celery, red onion, mustard, parsley, salt, pepper and/or optional hot sauce, lemon juice.
3. Gently fold in the avocado. Smash the avocados to your desired texture. ...
4. Serve in a sandwich, with crackers or on a salad. Enjoy  
5.   Tuna Avocado salad