Caught in the ...

Blogger room closet.  Lucy is lurking.

Our new home in Norman presents quite a challenge for me.  Standing at 5'5" with a short arm reach means I need Jack around at all times to put things up high for storage, our bedroom closets and hallway cabinets have the same 9' ceiling as the rest of the house.  Since having Jack around isn't really a logical answer, we bought a two-step ladder which works very well in the kitchen, but for the closets I needed the paint ladder that has three steps, and is a little more wobbly than the two-stepper.  

This story really starts about fifteen years ago on a sunny day when Jack had parked the car near Main st and the railroad tracks with the plan to walk or jog really fast to be at the OU football game for kickoff.  The drive from Hutchinson had been longer and slower than we had anticipated.  Jack jumped out of the car, locked the doors and began walking toward the stadium.  I, at least, had the door open to the low sitting Thunderbird.  With both legs on the ground I proceeded to lift my numb butt up.  Then I took a step and suddenly, to quote my father, "I got a hitch in my get-a-long" and I couldn't move.  I stood there behind the car door watching my husband trek toward the stadium without me.  Laughing and crying at the same time I tried yelling, "Jack!"  He turned and waved, "Hurry."  "Hurry, my ass," I replied, "I can't move, yet."  Now I wasn't as mad as I was embarrassed and in pain.  At last I relaxed, and rubbed my left leg and butt muscles until they released the tension.  Then with the dignity of an aging athlete I walked slowly with a "Chester" limp toward Jack and the stadium.  The game began that day without us.

These many years later I found myself on the third rung of a ladder and head high up in the closet.  My system was to move stacks of books up a shelf at a time bending too the right and lifting, over and over, and up and up. At last I was ready to fill the very top shelves with books and items I wouldn't need much (so why did I even keep them?).  As I strained to lift a small pile of books I felt a pinch and a tug in my right butt cheek.  "Please let that be Jack pinching me, " I pleaded with my body.  The pain continued and spread upwards and downwards causing me to release the books in hand.  "!!!! & !!!!!" rushed from my mouth.  Hollering for help 9' up in a back room closet is not effective, but Lucy did try to jump or climb the ladder to help me, causing the wobbly ladder to wobble even more.

Now breathless with fear of falling, I grabbed the ladder with one hand and my right butt cheek with the other.  Then I rubbed and dug frantically only to bang my head on the book shelf.  Not only was I ready to cry at that moment, but a new problem developed:  I had to tinkle. There is no way to do the tinkle dance when the body is caught in a muscle cramp.  Slowly, the pain began to subside just as a warm trickle ran down my legs.  Laughter in a small closet echoes, followed by the desperate sounds of snorting.

With knees quaking but bent I held on tight to the ladder and crawled down to the floor, then promptly laid down.  Lucy's love licks only added to the hysterics of the moment. When she brought me her tennis ball to throw, I took it from her mouth and immediately rolled over and placed the tennis ball under my right butt cheek. After twenty minutes of tennis ball therapy, the knots were nearly gone.  I slowly walked down the hallway that day, took a hot shower, a nap, and then went out for dinner. Now I'm wondering, if this is the pain associated with the 60's then what will the 70's, 80's, and 90's bring? More stories, I hope.